Karilynnbryant’s Weblog

Minerals…I May Regret This
March 21, 2015, 12:17 am
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So…I may regret this, but I have felt a strong desire to blog again, to write, share about what our family, and specifically, myself, has been facing in the past year.

I want to begin by saying that I believe God can heal me.  I believe He is IN THIS!  I believe that He sees, and He knows, and He is capable of anything.  I am trusting Him, and He has been faithful so far.  He has been our rock, our support, our comfort.  He is good.  He HAS already healed me in some ways.

And with that…

I have recently discovered that I have a pretty significant mineral imbalance.  A year ago, I would have scoffed at that.  I would have said, “So?  What’s the big deal?”  But, I now know from experience that it IS a big deal, as it can cause MAJOR health problems, for me, some of which include, insomnia, depression, anxiety, rashes, psoriasis, eczema, dizziness, eye problems, anger, adrenal shut down, and more.

After seeing two dermatologists, two allergists, a functional medicine doctor, and a psychiatrist, I finally was able to get to the root of it all (at least I hope it’s the root!), by doing some mineral testing.  My functional medicine doctor discovered the imbalance, but she did not really know what to do with it.  I found someone who did.  Or, rather, God pointed me to him, after a friend invited me to like his facebook page, of all things!  At the time, I was researching for my son, who has some issues of his own, and it didn’t occur to me that THIS WAS FOR ME!  In fact, it took me a good 6 months before the blinders fell off, and I finally did the mineral test.

And, so…three days ago when I was “having my quiet time,” I wrote the following in my journal:

“I don’t want to have lived through the hell of depression and anxiety without being changed, God.  I don’t want to go on in my newly found health as if I didn’t just escape from the jaws of death, as if I weren’t just rescued, as if I’m now ashamed of the daily, hourly, worship that has been my only hope in getting through the day.  If it was Your will, God, that I have had this experience, I want YOUR result, I want to know what YOU intended me to know through it all, what YOU intended me to learn, and I want to live differently.  I want my struggle to make a difference in the way I live my life for YOU.  I know YOU don’t waste these times of trial, but I’ve no doubt that I can, that I will.  I have already, in fact.  I walk with confidence in my cleared mind, but still allow satan to whisper into my ear, using those old scars that linger from a former life.”

The funny thing is, I am NOT completely healthy.  I wrote that as if I were 100% back to normal, and I am not, but I know that the question God has been asking me lately is this: “Can you trust me?  If this is what I have for you for right now, will you still love me and trust me?”  I think I’m there.  I think so.

If I am able, I’m hoping to share about this process, what has already been happening, and what is to come.  Maybe it will help others who are struggling with the same things, to find some answers.  Maybe it will help someone to continue to believe that God is able.

You Did That For Me
February 21, 2009, 4:26 pm
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From the Album All Right Here

You Did That For Me

by Sara Groves

I don’t have to cry anymore • I don’t have to worry about what’s in store • I’ve walked that road exhausted and poor • I don’t have to cry anymore • • And I don’t have to know it all • I don’t have to be so proud and stand so tall • I climbed that mountain only to fall • I don’t have to know it all • • You did that for me • Oh, you did that for me • You wore the chains so I could be free • Yeah, yeah • You did that for me • • And I don’t have to be ashamed • Hang my head or shoulder the blame • Wondering if my life’s been in vain • I don’t have to be ashamed • • Oh, you did that for me • Oh, you did that for me • You wore the chains so I could be free • Yeah, yeah • You did that for me • • Man of sorrows • Well acquainted with grief • Drug down to the city dump • Spread eagle on a cross beam • Propped up like a scarecrow • Nailed like a thief • There for all the world to see • • You wore the chains so I could be free • Yeah, yeah • Oh Lord, you did that for me • Oh Lord, you did that for me, You wore the chains so I could be free • •

I’m A Social Moron
February 8, 2009, 12:49 am
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Gosh, I wish I was better with people.  Today I was marveling at how far I’ve come from having to have the approval of others to feel good about myself.  I thought I had learned who I was and I liked that person!  Then tonight we went to a really neat birthday party for a friend’s little boy.  There were a lot of people there…some I had seen before, some I had not.   And, maybe it’s because I’m not feeling so great right now, but I just felt like I could not communicate with anyone in the room.  I was much more comfortable chasing my kids around than trying to talk to someone I did not know very well…and a lot of the people knew each other, and everyone was very nice to me.  It was not at all like folks were unfriendly…I just do not do this setting very well…and I felt like I was the social moron on the room…like people were wondering what was wrong with that woman over there who is so quiet or weird?   I’m that person, you know…the one who hears what is coming out of her mouth and then wonders, “Where the heck did that come from?” .   Just do not have social grace at all.  I wish I did.    At one point, I can be full of confidence and having fun and talking to people, and then on a different day with different people, I can just crawl into my little hole of weird shyness.   Do I have multiple personalities?

The Year In Review…2008
January 1, 2009, 3:41 am
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In actuality, I don’t remember much of this year before May.  I know that my good friend Sarah was blessed with a perfect pregnancy after a rough patch of starts…I think I spent a lot of time on the internet researching Cincinnati and looking for realtors.  Then we took our first trip to Ohio to look for houses.  So, I’ll begin with May…

May – The movers came May 8th, to Nebraska…the kids and I left on the 9th for Texas to see family while Luke moved the cats and the car.  It was a hard hard trip to Texas…one of the worst.   I actually don’t know that I’ll be back any time soon.

June – This must have been the hardest month for me as we were living in a hotel while looking for a house in Cincy.   I do not recommend living in an extended stay with an infant and a 2 yr old.  We experienced major discipline trouble with Mayah because she was just going through so much!  We had our laundry stolen…and our house in Nebraska sold!!!  That was just one of those little gifts – like a whole box full of diamonds in the middle of a snake pit.   Mayah also started dance class in June, which is also a fun treat for everyone…if I could box that up…:)

July – We went to the mountains for the 4th of July with Luke’s family – a much needed reprieve from hotel life.   And finally at the end of July we closed on a house in Cincy!!

August – Moved into the new house….and all that goes with that.  Married 6 yrs and actually had a date for the first time in quite a while to celebrate!

September – Luke’s birthday…joined a small group at a Baptist church…never thought I’d step foot in one of THOSE again!  But, we met some friends that changed our minds…began going to MOPS, library reading time, OMG I almost sound like one of those normal soccer mom types that loves organized religion!  Ha!

October – full of birthdays and costumes.  We got over our previous crazy reactions to halloween and decided to let our kids have some fun with it.  We went trick or treating in our neighborhood and then to a church halloween party with a moon walk and  a “trunk or treat.”  Mayah was Cinderella, Raggedy Ann and a doctor.  Sam turned one…it was a good day, especially after his tough beginning.  He hated his cake and barfed it up…

November – my folks came HERE, and it was much better than I expected it to be.  They showered the kids with gifts and brought turkey, tamales and fajitas from Texas for a feast.  We invited our neighbor over who was recently widowed…it was altogether a good time.  And then…I turned 30.  I also got to go back to Nebraska and see my friend’s new baby…Katie Mae.  I went without the kids and got to sleep a lot!  It was good.

December – Mayah turned 3, and we had our first birthday party for her – well, first REAL kids’ party anyway!  At Chick Fil A.  I would HIGHLY recommend this to anyone with a pre-schooler.  They were wonderful hosts and it was easy, organized, clean, and cheap!  And who doesn’t like Chick Fil A?  Christmas…was nice and simple.  The best way.  We celebrated our first family christmas alone and it was awesome.

We’ve settled in…Mayah is going to start preschool in January.  Sam is still seeing the doctor about every 6 weeks and having blood work done.  He’ll continue to be on thyroid medication.  He seems to be doing fine developmentally though, and he brings us so much joy.  The kid is just smiles all around, and it’s contagious. Luke has done extremely well at work and has been able to work on some cool projects in addition to his main job (which I have no idea how to explain).

I’m a little bit nervous about what the new year will bring…everything seems to be in disarray outside of our little world, and I seem to be waiting for it to invade our space too.  We will see.

Happy New Year!!!

November 2, 2008, 1:12 am
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For all of my searching and struggling with God, I think this is the conclusion that I have come to:

It’s not about what you get or don’t get…how you feel or don’t feel…who likes you or hates you, what bad or good things happen in your life, but it’s about the grace through which you withstand all of it, most of all the trials.

Now…I am not sure how I feel about this, because I am still partially stuck in the “slot machine” God mindset…I mean, I know that that is not true, but because I have been there for so long, well, I guess old habits die hard.   But for now, I will just focus on this grace.

So, this hits home…really close to home.
October 23, 2008, 7:13 pm
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Thanks Lou…


I did not write this, but I wish I knew who did!   I hope if you read this, you will read all the way to the end…and consider who God really is to you…and if that is truly real.   I find myself in a place where this God – the “machine” God that I was taught about in church all of these years, the God that gives you something when you put something in, the God who makes all of your dreams come true, who will make your life magical if you will but trust Him…well, He doesn’t exist.  And, I want to know who He really is.  I know that He is not who I think, and for me that is a good thing today.  I presume that for most who consider themselves christians, this will seem horrifying, maybe even anti-God, but if you dig a little deeper, you will find it’s quite the opposite.  It’s maybe a call to evaluate what you have been practicing, and realize what you really believe.  I am hoping to find that God is more than what we humans have made him out to be…and I hope that he is the kind of God who tears down walls, and lives outside of our Sunday morning boxes. 


Yes, lose your faith. Lose your faith in God. For as the French mystic Simone Weil insisted, there is a kind of atheism that is purifying, cleansing us of idols. Lose your faith in the god that the cross exposes as a no-god, a sham god. Lose your faith in the god who is but the product of your projections, fantasies, wishes, and needs, a security blanket or good-luck charm god. Lose your faith in the god who is there to hold your hand, solve your problems, rescue you from your trials and tribulations, the deus ex machina, literally the “machine god”, wheeled out onto the stage in ancient Greek drama, introduced to the plot artificially to resolve its complications and secure a happy ending. Lose your faith in the god who confers upon you a privileged status that is safe and secure. Lose your faith in the god who promises you health, wealth, fulfilment, and success, who pulls rabbits out of hats. Lose your faith in the god with whom your conscience can be at ease with itself. Lose your faith in the god who, in Dennis Potter’s words, is the bandage, not the wound. Lose your faith in the god who always answers when you pray and comes when you call. Lose your faith in the god who is never hidden, absent, dead, entombed. For the “Father who art in heaven” – this week he is to be found in hell – with his Son.
So, yes, lose your faith! For as with life, so with faith: only those who lose it will find it. Or rather may find it. Faith is a risk, and discipleship demands that we learn to live with insecurity and uncertainty, setting out on a journey without a map, with companions who are as lost as we are, following a leader who is always way ahead of us, beckoning mysteriously, “Follow me!”, and then vanishing just as we arrive. God is mystery, ineffable mystery, naming a reality that we know, but the more we know, the more we are forced to un-know and rethink everything we thought we knew.

The Truth
October 1, 2008, 11:14 pm
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I enjoy politics, though I rarely engage in the conversation because it’s so nasty.  I will state that I am a McCain supporter.  I liked him from the very beginning…I’ve always liked him even though I grew up in south texas, where illegal aliens crossed the border daily with drugs and weapons…my father probably doesn’t like him, but I do. 

Though I aim to be fair to both sides…I can’t help but notice the obvious bias in/on just about everything regarding this campaign.  Even my facebook has an ad every day that is a picture of Obama and his family and it says, “Are you registered to vote?”  It’s the same picture and quote every day.  I wanted to find out more about him, instead of what the media is saying…and I am just wondering why no one is reporting any of this stuff!!!  And why the McCain campaign is not reporting this stuff. 

I also found this article  on the state of our economy really interesting…and I don’t know enough about the economy to know what the right answer is, but I want to know.

So, these things about Obama the Messiah…are pretty disturbing…there are a lot more, but these are the current issues.   Interested in the truth? 

A former Ohio state secretary of state was on the news this morning talking about ACORN and how financially linked they are to Obama…who was a major funder and founder of the organization, which is notorious for votor fraud.   Read this.  It may be a little biased, but I couldn’t find one that wasn’t.  After hearing the Ohio man talking about it, I wanted to find out more.  It turns out that their connection to voter fraud has been an issue in campaigns in Washington, Missouri, and other states.     

1994, Obama was one of the attorneys (in cooperation with ACORN) who sued Citibank for redlining…basically accusing them of not lending to people based on race and socioeconomic status.  

the debate moderator for the VP debates tomorrow night will profit if Obama wins the campaign because her book, featuring him, comes out on enaugeration day.  Hmmm…

  I’m all for change and a better strategy for getting out of Iraq, and I think GW is one of the worst mistakes this country has made…but this man seems to be completely lost… what’s with the fame?